Aussie Student Loans

logo-higheredYour future is Australia’s future. In fact, your debt is Australia’s surplus. The government’s surplus, that is. And a budget surplus for the Aussie government is what we all need right now. It’s like a big savings account. A big fat piggy bank full of big beautiful Aussie dollars for everyone to splash out on big Akubras in the future.

I mean, it’s also somebody’s deficit. Because that’s, you know, how accounting works. But you don’t think about that, do you? Course not, Aussie voter. Everybody knows Aussie voters are simple folk. Big, thumping racist drongos, aren’t ya? Ay? *affectionate shoulder punch* Aren’t ya! Struth. STRAYA!

Yep, that really is how stupid they think the average Australian is.

But let’s have a crack at this. If the Aussie government wants to run a budget surplus, which it does for no sensible reason right now, the only way to achieve this is, as Steve Keen explains, to have the private sector go further into debt:

a government surplus means that the public has to either run down its savings, or increase its debt.

The government surplus has to manifest either as a private sector deficit or as a trade surplus – that is, a deficit run by the rest of the world.

Now Australia’s mining boom is over. So if the government wants to run a surplus, the question becomes which sector to shove further into debt. One option is to boost business investment. But…

Capital expediture growth 001









Right, so. So much for that. Household borrowing is another option. It seems to have plateaued since 2008, but it’s coming up a bit now: householddebt









That looks like the ticket. But how do you get households into more debt? Student loans, admittedly, don’t count for much. By my estimate they make up about 1% of total private debt in Australia.

Still, every little counts. And, you know, a little bit of debt can grow bigger. There’s no interest on HECS-HELP loans, but they’re indexed to inflation. Luckily, if students have to take on big loans to pay uncapped university fees, they’ll have to demand higher wages to service that debt. And that means more inflation, which means more debt. Ace. STRAYA!

My bet is that this is why the government is running an intense propaganda campaign to try to convince future students that it’s perfectly ok that they’ll now have to take on vast amounts of debt to pay for their education. The spin is absolutely mesmerizing. It’s like going for a whirligig ride on a big testicle. Again, this is actually how stupid they think you are. How does that make you feel?

Well look at Tina. She’s not worried!

And look: THE GOVERNMENT PAYS A BIG SHARE OF YOUR COURSE FEES. You beauty! Just like how the bank pays for most of your house! Ripper.



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